Has it ever happened to you?
The fear of failure affected you so far as to block you completely: "what if it doesn't work?".
It is the same old issue: the fear of (theoretical) negative consequences produces such realistic thoughts that you desist from taking the next step, the action.
You give up, and immediately you stop dreaming, because after losing the umpteenth opportunity you convince yourself that you are not cut out for "that kind of thing".
You end giving up, thus committing an unforgivable mistake. A mistake that is very expensive, especially in terms of damage to your self-esteem: you gave up your dreams.
But you must know that it is not all lost, that we all have gone through it, at least once, that we can "heal" from this vicious circle, teaching the brain to react to certain situations differently.
Our brain is a machine close to perfection, but it has some limits, defined essentially by the way it has been programmed by nature over the millennia.
What we can do is learn the techniques to circumvent these limits, in order to teach the brain to formulate the right thoughts, those thoughts that allow us to correctly overcome the various moments of impasse that we experience quite every day.
Your brain is programmed to carefully avoid any situation of potential danger, any event that could result in pain, disappointment, loss, detachment.
Your brain is programmed to find, in every situation and at any cost, the way not to make you suffer.
The action of daring, of going beyond one's limits, of taking risks, of changing, of jumping over an obstacle, naturally entails the possibility that we can do ourselves harm, even if only in terms of mental suffering. This eventuality is something your brain will always try to avoid, in every way, especially in its preferred one: by creating negative thoughts so realistic that the terrible consequences of your action will appear inevitable.
Is there any way to change all this?
The answer is yes and you have the skills to do it, through a process that starts, as always, with awareness.
You must be aware that in order for your fears not to prevent you from living your life fully and with joy, you will have to master your thoughts and never let your brain do it in an autonomous and instinctive way.
In reality your instinct is important, it is what has often saved your life and that will save you many more times.
But you need to be able to decide when and how to use this tool, not allowing your brain to do all the job without any control.
Everything changes at the exact moment you stop measuring your value with the results you hope to achieve and instead start concentrating ONLY on what you can fully control: your commitment.
When we concentrate on doing our best, we have already won our race, regardless of how it ends.
The secret is to stop focusing only on the outcome of the action we are about to take, or rather we would like to undertake because we believe it is right, exciting, consistent with our dreams and our aspirations, instead starting to focus attention on our commitment, on our dedication, on our passion, on our confidence in the goodness of the idea, on our love for that thing we are doing and that we feel is ours. All this regardless of the actual result we are going to get.
Do you want to know an “exquisite secret”?
If you focus only on your commitment and your passion, and not on the result, in the vast majority of cases, that very result then comes: a positive, satisfying, rewarding result. A full result, which gives you the stimuli and the strength to re-start immediately, with enthusiasm, towards the next goal.
Love what you do, do it with passion, with commitment: focus only on it.
The rest will come along by itself.
Please feel free to comment and …. Spread the Love!
Ilis Imago, Exquisite Secrets
London, UK, October 2019
Credits: Ph by Marina Vitale